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| Rain :) |
| 01.29.04 (9:24 pm) [edit] |
It rained last evening. Been a while since I saw raindrops falling from the sky. The chilly drizzle, the pitter patter on the awning, the beautiful white fog crowning the hilltop near my neighbourhood. Kinda surreal. Which prompted me to hit the sack real early. There's something really comforting in snuggling up under some warm covers and sleeping away a cold rainy night ^_^
[b]Madonna - Rain[/b]
[i]I feel it, it's coming
Chorus:
Rain, feel it on my finger tips
Hear it on my window pane
Your love's coming down like
Rain, wash away my sorrow
Take away my pain
Your love's coming down like rain
When your lips are burning mine
And you take the time to tell me how you feel
When you listen to my words
And I know you've heard, I know it's real
Rain is what this thunder brings
For the first time I can hear my heart sing
Call me a fool but I know I'm not
I'm gonna stand out here on the mountain top
Till I feel your
(chorus)
When you looked into my eyes
And you said goodbye could you see my tears
When I turned the other way
Did you hear me say
I'd wait for all the dark clouds bursting in a perfect sky
You promised me when you said goodbye
That you'd return when the storm was done
And now I'll wait for the light, I'll wait for the sun
Till I feel your
(chorus)
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say, never go away
Waiting is the hardest thing
[It's strange I feel like I've known you before]
I tell myself that if I believe in you
[And I want to understand you]
In the dream of you
[More and more]
With all my heart and all my soul
[When I'm with you]
That by sheer force of will
[I feel like a magical child]
I will raise you from the ground
[Everything strange]
And without a sound you'll appear
[Everything wild]
And surrender to me, to love
Rain is what the thunder brings
For the first time I can hear my heart sing
Call me a fool but I know I'm not
I'm gonna stand out here on the mountain top
Till I feel your
Rain, I feel it, it's coming
Your love's coming down like
(repeat)
(chorus)
Rain, I feel it, it's coming
Your love's coming down like
(repeat)[/i]
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| An amalgam of emotions... |
| 01.28.04 (3:04 am) [edit] |
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I'm such a hypocrite. I kept telling myself to let bygones be bygones. Yeah right. The gloomy wet weather ain't helping either. There's this cubicle in my office which I've tried my darnest to avoid for the past year or so. Unfortunately, I was forced to go there today coz I needed to visit the neighbour of that cubicle to discuss some work related issues. As I walked quietly over, there he was... sitting pretty, phone glued to his ears, oblivious of my presence. I tried my best to concentrate on the issues at hand... but the close proximity of both cubicles forced me to listen to the conversation at the other side of the 'wall'. It's obvious that he's talking to her. Whispering sweet things and their plans for the weekend. Man... he's smooth. I stood in the opposite cubicle like an idiot. Yeah... and I felt a sledgehammer knocking the wind out of my chest. My mind got so clouded, I felt like smashing into his cubicle and pulverizing him to a pulp. I quickly excused myself, and told my colleague I will discuss the issue with him over the phone later. Darn, my mind is really f**ked up at the moment.
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| Quizzes... quizzes... |
| 01.27.04 (5:08 pm) [edit] |
Took one of those online quizzes juz for kicks. Anyway... here's the result I got. Hmm... interesting...
Your Heart is Blue
What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| Fragments of my mind. |
| 01.25.04 (2:47 am) [edit] |
It’s been an unusually quiet Chinese New Year for me. Save for the occasional blast of a stray firecracker or two. But it was no biggie, I had loads of time to catch up wiv my old hobbies and other stuff I used to love doing. Was doing some housekeeping on my Outlook mailbox last evening. As I was deleting mail after mail… I came across a stash of old mails I sent to her. These were written bout a year ago. Stuff I wrote, hoping she’ll realize how much I missed and needed her. I wanted her back. Not a single reply out of a dozen mails or so. It didn’t matter coz I kept holding on… which I now realize were false hopes. It hurt so bad back then coz I not only lost my significant other, I also lost my best friend and confidant. When the gang caught wind that we were no longer an item, they avoided me like a plague. I could never understand why they did this so I ended up alone for more than half a year. Losing her was one thing, but losing the few remaining frens I had (I’m not ashamed to admit that I hav a very small circle of frens) really sent me spiraling down into depression. Those were one of the worst times of my life. But I’m glad that eventually, I crawled out of my shell and met some new ppl in my life. New frens, which I never would have met, should those bitter events never took place. Time managed to erase away some of the pain but I’ve came to accept the fact that things will never go back the way it was. I hav to make some compromises in my life. I was never much of a writer. But I wrote a whole load of stuff during the past year or so. This was a fragment of what played in my mind back then. Nothin fancy… but I will be keeping it in my journal.
[i]It's not that I loved you because I wanted anything in return,
I cared because I saw a part of me in you,
The song we liked, the movie we saw,
A constant reminder of me being such a fool.
The days which have passed,
We were hovering between friends & lovers,
Constantly trying to breach that uncertainty,
But I immaturely, foolishly held back.
The sea we visited... I went back there alone.
And while searching for that place I had forgotten for so long,
The sound of the waves were somehow soothing;
I think I'm about to cry.
U called when I least expect it,
Your voice brought back a thousand memories,
I told you I was ok,
The darnest lie I ever knew.
You have moved on so far,
I'm still rooted on the spot we last stood,
I was always relying on you for strength,
This time I'm facing the world alone.[/i]
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| The Last Samurai... grrrraaaaaahhHHHH!!! |
| 01.23.04 (8:44 am) [edit] |
Caught The Last Samurai at GSC Gurney. I was lookin forward to this film ever since I saw the trailer some time ago. Could be the fact that I'm facinated with movies depicting feudal Japan. Shogan, staring Richard Chaimberland ranked as one of my all time favorite movies. So how was the overall experience? One word. Sucks. No... not the movie. The Last Samurai is a wonderful show and I would recommend it whole-heartedly to anyone. I'm actually pissed with the so-called state-of-de-art cineplex. THX, Dolby Digital Surround, SDDS, yadda yadda yadda. Phoooih. The moment I sat on the seats... I was like "uh-oh... seems kinda cramped". I could hardly move my legs once squeezed in. Feels worse than being stuffed into a sardine can. Doesn't look like a good start. The movie was supposed to begin at 6.15. The usual adverts started rolling by. A moment later, the screen went blank. Boos erupted. As the technician worked frantically to get the film rolling again, the screen flashed bits and pieces of adverts... further aggravating the already irritated audience. Yours truly included. Finally... after a 20 minute delay, the movie began. A sigh of relief ensued. Nice pacing, beautiful cinematography, fantastic battle scenes. Tom Cruise was as dramatic as ever. Bucket loads of blood too… cool. As the movie was reaching it's climax, something unexpected happened. The film burnt. I meant literally. You could actually see the film melt onscreen; leaving a charred silhouette on screen. The crowd erupted again... boos ensued. I could count cursing being hurled in at least 5 languages. The lights was then rudely turned on. An attendant came in to apologize but it was no help to calm the already incensed crowd. Many ppl headed for the exit... obviously pissed as hell. But we remain rooted to our seats. Another 15 minutes passed by. Somehow, the technician managed to remove the damaged portion of the film and got the show rolling again. We obviously missed out bits of the movie as every samurai was now sprawled on the battleground. Sheeeesh. Overall... this should hav been an excellent movie experience but it was severely marred by the terrible upkeep of the equipment of the cineplex. The biggest irony of it is it was barely two weeks old :shock: I'm gonna avoid this place in future... unless someone sticks the barrel of a gun onto my forehead. Nuff said.
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| Closin... |
| 01.20.04 (10:37 pm) [edit] |
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Well... today's the eve of the Chinese New Year. Most companies are closed or havin half days... but mine? Nooooo... being the champ of misplaced productivity, we're having a full one. Despite that, the office is a freakin ghost town. Almost every bugger decided to take the week off. Good for them. The food at the cafeteria taste like leftovers from yesterday. Bleh. Gonna bring my accoustic guitar home... which was left lying to collect dust in my cubicle. We used to hav small jammin sessions in one of the video conferencing rooms. Will try and re-ignite this soon. Anyway... I'm lookin forward to a 4 day break ahead :) Good time to grab some much needed rest. Jaamataashita :wink:
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| Bliss. |
| 01.19.04 (8:40 pm) [edit] |
It's been awhile since I've did any serious bloggin. Was kinda occupied lately :lol:
Hmm... work still sucks as usual. But since when was work supposed to be fun? Haha! That aside, in a small turn of fortune, life seems to treating me really well for the past week or so. For the first time in a while, I'm smilling and laughing without a care in my head. My social life seems to be improving a little, a bunch of my high school buddies came back from abroad, had a blast together; and I believe I'm beginning to let go of the past... slowly but eventually (maybe it was [i]Osmosis[/i]'s blunt comment in one of my previous blogs which knocked some sense into my head... hehe. Whoever you are... thanx).
I'll see how things unfold this year. But if this is any indication of things to come... I think 2004 will be a way nicer year than the last. **smilling**
[b]HIGH[/b]
[i]When you're close to tears remember
someday it'll all be over
One day we're gonna get so high
Though it's darker than December
what's ahead is a different color
One day we're gonna get so high
And at the end of the day remember the days
when we were close to the end
and wonder how we made it through the night
At the end of the day
we remember the way
we stayed so close to the end
we'll remember it was me and you
Cause we are gonna be forever you and me
you will always keep it flying high in the sky
of love
Don't you think it's time you started
doing what we always wanted
One day we're gonna get so high
Cause even the impossible
is easy when we got each other
One day we're gonna get so high
And at the end of the day remember the days
when we were close to the end
and wonder how we made it through the night
At the end of the day
remember the way
we stayed so close to the end
we'll remember it was me and you
Cause we are gonna be forever you and me
You will always keep it flying high in the sky
of love
Cause we are gonna be forever you and me
You will always keep it flying high in the sky
of love
And at the end of the days remember the days
when we were close to the end
and wonder how we made it through the night
At the end of the day remember the way
we stayed so close to the end
we'll remember it was me and you
Cause we are gonna be forever you and me
You will always keep it flying high in the sky
of love[/i]
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| The CmOs? |
| 01.18.04 (10:25 pm) [edit] |
Visited the website WeiChun recommended : http://www.cyborgname.com.
I'm supposed to be a :
[b]C - Cybernetic
M - Machine
O - Optimized for
S - Sabotage[/b]
Oh great... now I'm supposed to be a mole... hahahaha. Who can I help u 'sabo' today :twisted: ?
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| Jumpstart... |
| 01.14.04 (6:26 pm) [edit] |
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Man... really wish I have an IV tube running up my arm; pumping potent shots of caffeine up my veins. Can hardly open my eyes 2day. Spent the the nite(or wazzit mornin?) pluckin on my beat up guitar till 3am. Gonna find some cellophane tape to pry my eyelids open...
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| Strike 3... I'm out. |
| 01.14.04 (8:02 am) [edit] |
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Well, I tried. Not ashamed of it. But no luck. Guess mabbe I juz didn't fit the bill. So it's back to square one. Dear mundane life... I'm back :)
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| Change. |
| 01.13.04 (9:21 pm) [edit] |
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I'm going to do something real stupid this evening. Something which hav become unfamiliar to me as the sands of time blew by. I'm not sure if it's too early but I'll go ahead anyway. The outcome of this thingy can go both ways. One... my life will stay the same as it is at the moment... which is almost certain. Or two... the outcome might bring a marked difference to the days ahead. I'm keeping my fingers crossed... hope I'm not makin a mistake I might regret later.
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| Little moments. |
| 01.12.04 (11:44 pm) [edit] |
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There are times when u suddenly feel totally at ease, with nary a worry on ur mind. No apparent reason for it. These moments come far and few. But whilst it's still here, guess I'll juz sit back and savor it :wink:
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| Listening to... |
| 01.12.04 (10:58 pm) [edit] |
Popped Lighthouse Family's "Whatever Gets You Through The Day" into the CD tray. Needed something soothing to listen to on this lazy Tuesday. Not everyone might like Tunde Baiyewu's vocals, but I really like his warm voice serenading along the mostly mid-tempo songs. Uplifting... :D
[i]What you gonna do with your Life?
When you gonna spend your time?
The way that you've always wanted
When you gonna make up your mind?
You won't get anywhere until
You know what it is you really want to do
And when you know where you're going to
There'll be no stopping you
If only you could remember your dream
You could be all the things you've always wanted to be
What's been stopping you all this time?
The worst thing that could happen ain't as bad
As you thought it would be
When you gonna go out and shine?
Cos sitting around just thinking about it
Ain't ever gonna do you any good
And when you know where you're going to
There'll be no stopping you
If only you could remember your dream
You could be all the things you've always wanted to be
If only you could remember your dream
You could be all the things you've always wanted to be
If only you could remember your dream
You could be all the things you've always wanted to be
If only you could remember your dream
You could be all the things you've always wanted to be
If only you could remember your dream
You could be all the things you've always wanted to be
If only you could remember your dream
You could be all the things you've always wanted to be[/i]
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| The wall. |
| 01.12.04 (10:11 pm) [edit] |
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It's amazing sometimes, when u think u hav so much to tell, but when it comes to putting pen to paper, nothing materializes. Nada. Zilch. It as though u've hit an invisible wall. The grey matter in that skull of mine seems to hav liquified. No matter how hard I try... I end up erasing whatever I hav written coz there's absolutely no substance to it. Since I'm in the engineering field... this doesn't have any implications on me. Most of the time I'm juz required to write reports which is as bland as a styrofoam patty sandwiched between 2 pieces of cardboard. Formal crap. Anyone can do this. But it makes me wonder... how do writers overcome this writers' block thingy? No matter what, they hav to find a way around it since they made writting their life. I can't seem to find a solution. All I can do is to wait till I snap out of the daze. This could take days... even weeks sometimes. Oh well... guess I'm not cut out to be a story-teller. I really do envy those who hav a natural flair for writting...
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| Bagpipes... |
| 01.11.04 (3:37 am) [edit] |
Quote of the day :
[i]I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the manmade sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.[/i]
Alfred Hitchcock
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| Ramblings bout nothin... |
| 01.11.04 (2:26 am) [edit] |
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6pm. Sittin in front of my severely obsolete pc. Surfin aimlessly. My blog. My oh so very boring blog. Tblog has shown me my command and word play with the English language still sucks. Big time. Oh well... guess I'll blame it on my years of reading trash magazines. Novels? With my MTV inspired attention span? U must be kiddin. My reading materials comprises of loud... flashy stuff... a fat accompaning bassline wouldn't hurt either. Yeah... I know... kinda weird for a 26 year old guy. Then again... I never really grew up. I also juz realized how much my blog resembles one written by some goon afflicted wiv permanent PMS (um... 2 sisters... that entitles me to some credibility rite?). My mood swings more erratically than a 1965 Alfa Romeo. Valium? Why not... ppl pop these drugs like M&Ns nowadays. Hardly raise an eyebrow anymore. Nah... I think I'll go jog till I faint now. Either that... or allow myself to get mowed down by those idiotic schoolkid racers(barely past their puberty) near my area. Ta.
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| Greetings... |
| 01.09.04 (6:20 am) [edit] |
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Hmm... this is my first blog from a hotspot. Can't believe mamak stalls now hav wifi capabilities. Impressive. For the price of a measly iced lemon tea... I can surf my heart's content. Haha. That is till the battery on my pda runs out. Which is like real soon... eek. Oyasumi everyone :)
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| Wot's spinning? KORN. |
| 01.08.04 (9:29 pm) [edit] |
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Workload is piling up. Need some kickass stuff to listen to. Hav Korn's "Take a look in the mirror" spinning in the CD tray. Jonathan Davis still sound very much like a group of trolls being ritually disemboweled while the extra distorted guitar riffs by Munky and Head could literally strip the asphalt off the road. Feel... twistedly good at the moment. Will go home later tonight and dust out that beat up electric guitar of mine. My dear neighbours... u're about to embrace the sonic assault of the Drop-D tuning... again :twisted:
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| Bummer. |
| 01.08.04 (6:16 pm) [edit] |
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Juz got wind that some idiotic bus driver smashed up my ex's car really bad. The irony of it was that she parked it inside the company carpark. Saw photos of the mangle. Horrendous. I'm just thankful she's safe and well. Hope that so-called "best buddy" of mine helps her thru this ordeal since she's now with him. Darn... makes me wonder what that bus driver was thinking when he was speeding in the car park. Really makes me feel like punching the daylights out of him... :evil:
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| Mraz |
| 01.07.04 (9:17 pm) [edit] |
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Streaming some songs by Jason Mraz over the internet. Really like this guy's style. Might consider getting his album.
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| I only hav 2 hands... |
| 01.07.04 (5:27 pm) [edit] |
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Why do some ppl think that they're always high and mighty? Hey... u hav work, I hav my fair share as well. I've already set aside mine for 2 days juz to cater to your draconian requests. "Put this on high priority". "Get it out ASAP"! "Why doesn't your module interface wiv mine? Fix it"! DARN IT! It's juz as much YOUR fault as it is mine since we're supposed to "communicate" to get this portion done. U bulldozed ahead wiv yours and now I'm supposed to fix my module juz to follow the scheme u've laid out? Bloody hell. I'm a calm person by nature. But pls don't push me to the brink of my patience. Nuff said.
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| Urghhhh! |
| 01.06.04 (3:32 am) [edit] |
Juz finished a session at the company gym. Woooohooo... it feels good. Um... er... actually my body is aching like hell... but wot the heck... WOOOOOHOOOO!!! Endorphine overload... ME LIKE!!! ME LIKE... BWAAAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!
Me need to go take a shower now... owwww...
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| My dear alien. |
| 01.05.04 (11:08 pm) [edit] |
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Lookin at this cute little card holder my baby sis gav me for christmas. On top of the holder was this grey spaced-out lookin alien who seems to be grabbing hold of something. The look on it's face is hilarious. It's these little things my sis does which makes her so endearing. Everytime she comes back for her break, the house seems a little brighter. This Tuesday afternoon doesn't seem that bad after all :lol:
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| Mirror. |
| 01.05.04 (8:58 pm) [edit] |
After havin a late dinner yesterday; actually it was more like supper, I took a long warm shower; total bliss. As I was almost done, I caught a glance of myself on the mirror. I peered closer. Darn... time wasn't kind to me. Dark circles around my eyes. Forehead knotted up. Nary a hint of smile on my face. Expressionless.
I may be in my fittest condition in years but the blankness on my face sorta shocked me. What happened to me over the past year? I can't even remember the last time I had a hearty laugh nor could I recall an instance whereby I actually gav someone a genuine smile.
Did loneliness do this to me? Or was it the mental torment of being betrayed, I had to go thru nite after nite taken it's toll on me? I don't know. I really don't. What I do know is I need to take better care of myself or risk further alienating whatever handful of frens I may have left. My 1st new year resolution.
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| Oh... sweet nectare of the office world... |
| 01.02.04 (4:40 am) [edit] |
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It's 8.45 pm at the moment... I'm still on a caffeine high. Suprising since it usually wear off by bout 7. Mabbe the freshly opened bag of beans had something to do wiv it. U wouldn't believe how many times I have to be satisfied with a stale tasting batch. I'm not complaining... it feels good :twisted:
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| What's next? |
| 01.02.04 (4:07 am) [edit] |
This is weird.
I spent more than an hour writing this very detailed blog bout the many events which happened to me over the past year. Mainly moppy stuff. Dunno why, but I ended up deleting everything. All 1000 plus words; in that one second manic attack.
Somehow, in a twisted manner, I'm glad. It's a new year. The things which have happened are just that. The past. After going thru the madness which 2003 shoved down my throat... I was thinking; why bother? I'm still sitting here bloggin. I'm still in one piece. Which simply means I managed to get thru every single $#!t which was thrown at me.
So while I'm still in an upbeat mood... 2004... [b]BRING IT ON!!![/b]
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Blogs By My Everyday Buddies
Blogs I Start My Day
With
cmos
Complementary Metal Oxide Semiconductor. A process that uses both N- and P-channel devices in a complimentary fashion to achieve small geometries and low power consumption.
Also
coincidently the online nick of a very average bloke who at times can be a totally spaced-out blur sotong. Armed with his limited knowledge and talents, he embarks on a personal quest to understand, and hopefully survive this thingy called 'life'.
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