This post is gonna be shite. No... serious, I'm gonna blog about poo-ing. Anyways, if that didn't turn you off, do continue reading.

I'm currently working in this R&D company where there're no operators, no production line, no manufacturing squat. The employees are purely engineers and most carry themselves pretty well. I meant the ppl around here are relatively well dressed, properly behaved and leads some of the most boring lives one can think of (or does that apply only to me?).

So what have all these gotta do with poo? Gimme a minute, I'll get to that real soon. The first thing most employees do after they reach the office is to head to the lavatory to relieve themselves of the crap roti canai or the tosai they had last evening. I'm no exception. Taking a good dump at the start of the day works wonders for productivity for the rest of the day.

However, the experience could be quite traumatic sometimes. Behind the facade of professional looking employees, lurks weirdos of all kinds. As you know, there are rows of stalls lined up in lavatories so each person is only divided by this thin piece of plywood or something. You can practically hear everything your neighbour is doing on the other side. Here're some of the psychos I've encountered.

1. The Moaner.
While I was happily (and quietly) doing my business on the porcelain throne, this fella took occupancy of the stall beside me (I've no idea who he is since the door was closed). After a flush, I believe he sat done and started doing business of his own. Suddenly I heard a long "Uuuuuuuuuggggghh". The hair on my arms stood on it's ends. Now, this was no soft moan. The machipet bugger next door let out such a loud moan, it sounded like he was getting humped by 10 foot tall Arabian llama or something. He then let out a "Aaaaaaaaahhhhh", followed by a "Nnnnnnngggggghhhhhhhooooo oowwwww". Suddenly there was silence. But not for long as it was then broken by a "Ugghhhhh... uuugghhhh... UMMMMMMMMGGGHHHHHHHH!!!". At this point, I was really worried the guy might get an orgasm and bring down the whole row of stalls along with him. I quickly cleaned up and left the lavatory immediately. The moaning went on by the way.

2. The Toilet Paper Guy.
This fella didn't freak me out initially. He seems to be doing his stuff normally. However, after the business was done, I heard him pulling and tearing a sizable amount of toilet towel from the metal receptacle. Then I started hearing him wipe his ass or something. The wiping went on for bout a minute. Then two. Then three. By now I was like ... WTF?!?! What is this fella doing?!? Cleaning his butt or sandpapering his ass down to the bone??? He went on like there's no tomorrow. Must be a major itch on his butthole. **Scritch... scrunch... scritch...** Finally, after bout 5 minutes, the paper towel scrunching sound stopped. Flush. I was totally dumbfucked.

3. The Fire Hydrant.
Self-explainatory. The wonderful sounds of a stream. 3 full minutes. With some artistically performed last few spurts of air kencing at the end. Makes me wonder if he drank the whole 10 gallon bottle of water at the water dispenser.

4. The Toilet SMS-er.
All hail the multitasker. This waramashit joker shits, and SMS-es at the same time. It's like symphony in there. First a "plooop", followed by a "toot-toot", then a whole barrage of "click... click... click...". Then comes another "ploooop". Repeat like a gazzilion times. Amazing. Makes me wonder why he doesn't just do his video conferencing in there as well.

5. The Farter.
I don't think I want to recall this experience. Suffice to say that the automatic fragrance dispenser at the lavatory was thoroughly trounced. Whole lotta racket... whole lotta stinko gasses floating around. I sat. I heard. I smelt. I ran screaming out of the toilet like some bapuk pondan fleeing the Jabatan Agama Islam Wilayah Persekutuan (JAWI).

Sigh... I've got psychos for colleagues...

Currently listening to : Moby - Hotel

Fred have been getting on my nerves lately. Nope... he's not some dumbass sonovabiatch colleague or something. He's my bike, which my buddies prefer to affectionally call Motuki. He's been behaving really weird, and I couldn't really figure out why. After every ride, I felt as though I've been on the saddle of a really wild bronco high on meth.

I suspected a busted rear monoshock. So I did a simple experiment. I pushed Motuki's butt down and release it quickly. The rear bounced several time before coming to a standstill. Confirmed, the damper have either leaked or kaput completely, thus giving me a ride worse than on a pogo stick. No wonder I couldn't follow the machipet TZM rider (complete wiv tayar sotong... damn farker) I meet every morning into corners, and I was always left smelling his exhaust fumes. The rear was that hard to control since it was bouncing all over the place. I had to grip the fuel tank hard wiv my thighs to keep from makin an appointment with the black asphalt.

I buzzed Kheng, my moto guru to order a replacement. 3 days later, I got a call saying it's here. So, I rushed down town after work to get Motuki's rear remedied. I expected it to be an hour's job. Boy, was I suprised when Kheng instructed 3 of his mechanics to work on my bike. It was like watching an F1 pit crew in action. Damn waramashit quick... no kiddin. They got Motuki up and running in less than 20 minutes.

When I inspected my old monoshock, I immediately saw the problem. The darn thing was leaking damping oil like some rabies infected canine. Eww... sorry sight indeed. You can clearly see the problem here.

Anyways, the new shock is in and I'm really glad to have it fixed. It cost close to 300 bucks but the bike is way different currently. I can brake much later into corners and I can lean into corners much harder now. I might still get it tweaked further by Kheng since I left the pre-load at the softest level at the moment. But for now... Motuki feels goooooood. To the machipet brown-skinned TZM rider who kept smokin me every mornin... I'll see ya soon... nyehehehe...

I hit the sack early last night since there wasn't much to do and I was probably bummed out after the late evening gym session with Gaylord and Archilles. It didn't take long before I started slipping in and out of consciousness as I embraced the warm comfort of my bed. One moment, I was dreaming bout hitting the Autobahn on mah spankin new 1 litre Gixxer, the next I was rudely awakened by the incessant beeping on my cell (I dun have polyphonic wot… bleh). I cranked my eyelids open to look at who was sms-ing me at this time of night.

I could barely make out what was on the dinky LCD screen, but I managed to decipher several words. “Tremor”, “12.30am” and “shaking” were some of them. “Ah… must be another one of those over-reacting over nothing sms-es” I said to myself and I went back to bed. The cell buzzed again. This time I saw Pimpra’s name flashing across the screen. Was wondering what this waramashit Hendrix was texting me for at this time of night. Turns out he too was affected by the tremor… which caused most of his neighbors, including the Finnish hotbod couple to run out of their apartments like bats out of hell. I bet Pimpra pee-ed in his pants when he saw his table fan goyang-goyang; like scenes from Bit-torrent downloaded Japanese porn. But he buat macho-only… cool… always putting on his “Oooh... I am alwiz powderful coz I hav Swedish meatballs” outlook. More on the Finnish couple here. Several more sms-es came in after that, asking if I was still alive. I spent the next few minutes replying those “concerned” pals of mine before going back to bed.

On a more serious note, it’s really disheartening to hear that this latest quake in Banda Aceh may have killed up to 2000 ppl. You can read more about the quake here. Hopefully this will be the last of a series of quakes for some time. The ppl of Aceh really need time to rebuild their homes and lives…

It's been a while since I had a good dog. I've been stuffing myself silly with Ramly burgers, which is obscenely good; but what I was really craving for was a good 'ol frank wrapped between soft freshly steamed buns.

So, while I was doing some shopping with a fren of mine, I came to a stop when I saw this franchise. The myriad of colors emanating from the stall plus the incessant aroma of fresh toasty buns wafting thru the air was like a siren calling helpless sailors to their doom :

1901 serves hot dogs with a twist. The franks aren't grilled in pools of butter like what they usually do here in M'sia. They're steamed. The last time I had one of these were 2 years ago. The choices aren't mind blowing but what they do offer, they do them really well.

You can have Chicago Beef, Texas Ted, Minnesota Twins, etc. I decided to try New York Chicken this time. They ran out of regular franks, so I opted for the Jumbo version. When the dogs came, I was stunned by the size of the franks. Here, encased in a small Asian portioned-sized bun was a frank at least 7 inches long. Massive by Asian standards (woi... quit sniggering... I'm trying to do a legitimate food review here-lar...) Sure... they weren't as large as what's being offered at Vegas, but it's rare to find franks these huge over at this side of the world.

I didn't have a digicam with me but the dogs looked something like the above pic, but the frank being quite a bit longer. It came topped with the usual assortment of green relish, BBQ sauce and mustard.Since the huge frank was prominently protruding left and right from the sides of the bun, eating it on the spot might be a little messy and... quite obscene as well. So we decided to tar-pau the thingy instead.

Obscured from the public, with some sappy Japanese dorama playin on the idiot box, we pulled out the goliath dogs and chowed down like nobody's business. Serviettes are optional. The steamed franks were wonderfully springy with each bite while the soft fluffy buns complemented the meaty taste well. The relish, mustard, BBQ sauce combo gave a sharp zing of flavour, which made wolfing down those dogs a huge delight. The size of the hot dogs meant it was not merely a snack,  it was a meal on it's own. My kind of comfort food... nyehehehe...  ^_^

I'm definitely gonna go back there again to try out the rest of the offerings :wink:

It's Friday. Woohoo.

Boy... what a week. Work... work... work... and more work. Balls feel like dropping off. Damn cheebai... #!$%^&*%. The brain is so fried, I can't think of anything to blog about. Asked Archilles to buy me some iron pills to help boost up my red blood cell count. Pale... pale. Like tikus putih makmal. Tiu... I suddenly sound like a menstruating female... **smack head**

My buddies on the other hand were on a creative frenzy. In less than 2 days, they launched 4 new blogsites. Nabeh. Each with their own flava and varying levels of bitchiness. You can read about their exploits here, here, here and here. DAMN YOU WARAMASHIT SORHAIS FOR PRESSURING ME INTO UPDATING MY FUCKIN BLOG **waves Fist of Death, followed by&n bsp;the Finger of Eternal Damnation, and for the coup de grace... Mata Laser Baja Hitam Ultraman Bapuk** !!!

Eh... kiddin-lar dudes. You can stop pulling my underwear liao... won't go over my head wan. My Fabio-like torso too panjang... blek. I luv you guys to death ^_^ Thanks for making the week less painful with the endless waves of spam and nonsense you guys flood my mailbox with.

Have a great weekend ahead! **Muaks**

Listening to : I'm too sexy - Right Said Fred

I'm so bloody pissed rite now. Why? I also dunno... must be the cumulative effect of a string of bad luck coupled with the fact that I have to entertain retarded morons day after day after day... I'm fucking tired of being pushed around like some bloody rag doll which is used to clean up the toilet bowl when there's no more toilet paper...  MACHIPETFUCKEDTIUNIASENGC RAPMAHAICHAOCHEEBYESHITPU KILANCHIAO!!

I'll drown myself with Coke. Sugar always make me feel better. Cans will pile up high again.

It's been 4 months since I last hiked. Heck... it's been eons since I last did anything physically demanding... bleh. I don't remember having this much jingling blubber circling my waist... must be all the junk food and sodas I've been consuming of late. Yes... I binge. I luv food.

I was getting a little sick of going to the same ol' hiking spots on the island. As luck has it, my friend offered to show me a relatively new one (to me that is) which is around Bukit Mertajam. It took about half an hours drive from Butterworth; passing Bandar Perda before we reached the foot of Berapit Hill.

We started pretty late during the evening, and there were more ppl coming down the hill than up (most of the pics below were actually pretty dark, but I hiked up the gamma and contrast to make it easier to see). The hike wasn't exactly streneous, but it did give a good workout. Halfway up, I was treated with a nice view of the town below.

It didn't take long before reaching the top.

At this point, I was suprised to find a Thai Buddhist temple built at the top of the hill. It must have taken the devotees back breaking effort to bring the materials up to construct the temple. The monks and the caretakers of this temple were very accommodating and I tried my best to not overstep my role there as a visitor. I'm pretty clueless bout these things, but the many signboards around gave me some clue on what can and cannot be done.

The highlight of the temple was a 5 storey pagoda; which gives a fabulous view of the surrounding hill.

The pagoda looks relatively new and the place was spotless. I was really itching to have a looksy and luckily it was open to public.

Each tier had marble floors and 4 bells adorning each corner. Devotees were to make a circle, ringing each bell along the way before going up the next tier. I was told this was to ensure good fortune and blessing.

The bells seems to be cast from bronze.

At the top-most tier, the first thing which greeted you was this really big gong, which was at least 5 feet across. The interesting thing about this gong was you can make it ring in two ways. One was the conventional way which was bashing it with the heavily wrapped short staff. Another more interesting way was to make it resonate slowly.

How? Devotees would run their palms vertically down the dome on the middle of the gong, with a progressively quicker stroke each time. You will first hear a slight hum, which will eventually resonate into a thundering cresendo. I tried doing this, but I only managed to get it resonating at about half of what the regular devotees were able to achieve. Mind you, you can actually hear the resonating gong even at the foothill. It's that loud.

Daylight diminished quickly after that. Had a nice view of the sunset from the top tier of the pagoda. The good thing about this place was, the trail's sufficiently  illuminated ev en during late into the evenings, so there was no hurry to get home. So I took my own sweet time there before making a move.

It was an eye opening hike ;)

This may be old news... but it still cracks me up. Extracted from a local daily :

KUALA LUMPUR: By 2007, the first Malaysians will be launched into space and they will be taking with them a piece of home – batik and roti canai. 

National Space Agency (NSA) director-general Prof Datuk Dr Mazlan Othman said the astronauts could exchange culture and food with their foreign counterparts, as they would be spending six to eight days at the International Space Station. 

“We will have a programme called Batik in Space and we will also launch a programme called Roti Canai in Space to see how we can bring Malaysian delicacies up to the space station.  

“We will research ways to bring our astronauts' favourite food into space.

Bringing a M'sian into space is no easy matter. There will be plenty of issues and problems (training, logistics, cost, etc) which needs to be addressed before being able to do so. But instead of concentrating on these issues; the powers that be are more concerned bout how to bring Roti Canai (M'sian pancakes)

and batik (hand-dyed cloth) 

into space with our Bolehnauts. Fantastic foresight, don't ya think? The first thing which hits my mind is... WTF?!?!

The good Professor was quoted saying this will be an exercise in food and cultural exchange with the Russian cosmonauts on the Space Station.

My opinion? Since the government will be burning like a gazzilion M'sian ringgit in public funds to accomplish this interstellar cultural/food fest, we might as well go all the way. Here are a few other M'sian stuff I would like to suggest be brought up into space :

1. Minyak angin (Windy Oil). The typical M'sians' all-in-one first aid kit. Will cure everything from headaches to tummyaches. Most white collar workers will have at least a bottle in their cubicles to alleviate work pressure. Massage gently on temples for quick relief. The cosmonauts will no doubt find this handy. For external use only.

2. Sarong (towel like cloth). The M'sian version of what boxers or kilts are to the Westerners. Fantastic ventilation properties assures complete comfort. Dunno how it'll behave in zero gravity conditions though... hope the Russians don't get flashed too frequently... eek.

3. Maggi Mee (Instant Noodles). Ready in 2 minutes. Staple diet of M'sian bachelors everywhere . I think maggi mee qualifies as space food since you just need to add water; exactly like the pricier stuff NASA is using at the moment. Go easy on the soup flavouring though... it's the number 1 cause of balding M'sians due to high concentration of MSG.

4. Belacan (Shrimp Paste). Fantastic flavour enhancer to any dish. But might smell like dead fish to some. Po-tay-to... po-tah-to... ah... who cares. Use it in any stir-fry dish, will definitely fill the Space Station with a heavenly aroma. The cosmonauts will love us Bolehnauts for bringin this wonderful brown block up.

5. Which true blooded M'sian doesn't eat Durians? The delicious creamy custard like fruit have the most fantastic taste and texture. Who won't fall under it's spell? Too bad, it stinks like hell too. Have been banned from hotels and restaurants everywhere. Once the smell gets into a building's ventilation system, it'll take days to dissipate. I think the Space station will make an exception since it's a cultural exchange exercise thingy...

I'm sure the Russian Cosmonauts will receive us M'sian Bolehnauts with open arms (play Creed's With Arms Wide Open softly in the background...) ^_^

*Currently listening to : The Prodigy - Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned.

Arggghhhh... cmos... U USELESS DOOFUS!!! Your carelessness is unforgivable. Stupid... stoopid... stoooooopid!!!

I finally wreaked Fred (mah' Suzuki). After 2 months of careful pampering and restoration, I screwed up. I got off easy last week when I accidentally cause Fred to tilt over at Bigfish's house. No major damage save for some scratches on the footpeg and balancers. I should have been more careful after that.

But nooooooo. Cmos the dumbass didn't properly prop Fred up again while doing some maintainence work. This time, he tilted over and swipped his face against a pillar at my place. The front fairing sustained deep scratches all over. Ditto the headlamps and the front mudguard. FCUK!!! I tried to DIY fix it by filling the scratches with enamel paint and sanding it down using fine grade sandpaper and soapy water. The color didn't match and now the scratches are even more prominently highlighted. I resprayed the front mudguard but it's now shocking vermilion red, contrasting heavily with the rest of the bodywork which is in a deep shade of red.

Darn... I think I need to send Fred for a professional spray job. Unfortunately, I'm a little low on funds at the moment. Mike (mah' car...) burnt one and a half grand from my pocket juz a few days ago to pay for his insurance and road taxes. Sigh... when will money grow on trees? I wonder if it's possible to mug the gnome which takes care of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow... hmm...

It's been a while since I went on a photography trip. So, when I got an invite to visit the birdpark during the weekend, naturally, I jumped at the opportunity. There were supposed to be 5 of us, but lionking bailed out at the last minute. Which leaves only lomoboy, bigfish (together with his gf) and me for this outing.

Bigfish kindly offered to drive us. It took us a while to find the place, since none of us knew where it was. Luckily, lomoboy's navigation skills with the map was pretty good and we were there in little more than half an hour. Entry cost 10 bucks a pop. But it was  well worth it as the place was well maintained and there's a huge variety or birds flying around the place. What I liked most about the park was, most of the birds weren't confined and were left to freely interact with the visitors. Among these were huge emus, a few really talkative parrots, wild fowls and even deers (wtf are deers doing in a bird park???)!

Anyways, here're some shots from the outing :

A cute little owl, which kept turning away everytime I tried shooting it. This was a lucky shot.

The owl's larger counterpart. Just as camerashy as the small bugger.

Pink flamingos. Are those legs made from lidi sticks or something?

The blur author on the bridge... bleh.

Lomoboy looking absolutely miniscule in the presense of big bird... muahahaha.

Some weird looking bird, looking all pompous. Nice crown...

Lomoboy being attacked by a blue 'chicken'. The fowl kept thinkin his toes were huge wriggly worms and pecked away without mercy. It finally left us alone after we retaliated with flying sandals and bigfish's bigass Manfrotto tripod.

Cute little buggers. One of them looked absolutely sleepy.

"Eh... come-er. I treated ya wiv respect. And u come wiv ur dinky camera and disrespected the family. I'm gonna give ya a chance to make ammends... capish?". Guess I bugged this fella a tad&nbs p;too much. It's in ya face action... both author and camera survived.

There was a point in my life, in a not too distant past, where I felt I was at the verge of losing it. Bitterness engulfed the whole of me. I felt I have been wronged; in the worst sense one can conjure up in his or her mind. The hurt, anger and madness clouded my already cluttered mind. I severed all ties. I decended into a spiral of depression where time stood still. I retreated into my own make-believe world where facts and assumptions interwine to create an altered reality. I blamed all. I kept asking "Why?"

The hands of time kept moving in spite of this. As weeks turn to months, months to years; bits of me eventually returned. The heavy fog of insanity cleared into a fine mist. Remnants of the scarring still bear their mark, but these were smoothened out by grace of time. Free from the shackles of hate, I finally saw the real picture. There are many facets in life and I chose to embrace only one. No more. I acknowledged my ignorance. I accept my misconceptions.

Maybe it's true. Time is the wisest teacher. Time is the greatest healer.