Caught this via viewtru's blog. Anyways, here're my results :

t(-_-t)  Blek x5000... benci kaw kaw...

Yeah... all those years of farking tuitions and waramashit 1119 exams, and this is the crap I managed to score.

Hihi Mrs. See ^_^ , U proud of me ain't ya?

Darn. I dun feel too well. Guess it must be that time of the month again. The headaches, backaches and tummy cramps are driving me up the wall. It should arrive any day now. My boobs are feeling a little tender too. I'm moody as hell and everyone's a moron. I need chocolates... loads of chocolate. I think I'll have to drop by the convenience store later this evening to buy a pack of... eh... wait... oh yeah... I'm a guy. Silly me... ^_^

Btw, Stiff Butt is back from his Bali vacation. And he shared loads of pics with us. Anyways, DaddyCat got a little creative and here're some of the results. Enjoy ;)

Easy. It all boils down to names. Lucas musta been drunk when he came up with all those atrocious names for the whole waramashit thing. Dun believe me? Read on...

Padmé Amidala
You’ve got to be kiddin. Sounds like some actress straight out from Bollywood. I was half expecting Natalie Portman to burst into some exotic highlands dance sequence with a dozen pudgy backup dancers everytime I hear that name. "Zaraa t'haariye Padmé... aap se mil  ke khu-shi hui. Stormtroopers krip-ya muj-he Death-Star&nb sp;le cy-li-ye. I luv you veli much my darling (compulsory single English line in Hindi movies)..." **play Kuch Kuch Hota Hai theme softly in background**

Han Solo
Sounds like my brand of contact lens multi-purpose solution.

Count Dooku
WTF man. If you want to make a person sound intimidating and powerful, you don’t go around naming him after something which sounds like buah duku. To have badass characters... you have to come up with garang names like Count CibaiBin or Darth TiuNiaMa. At least sound abit like the loansharks from Goh Teow Lor... baru ngam. Bodoh x5000... bleh.

Jar Jar Binks
No comments. Enough have been said bout this stupendously horrible CGI creation already. But I would really love to see him get into the ring to slug it out with Golem from LOTR... tear him to shreads... dig his eyes out... yes... my precious...

Planet Utapau
Guess the super sombong char kueh teow seller at Lorong Selamat started his own delivery service franchise... biatch... t(-_-t)

Planet Arbra
Apa ni? Place which serves jus ampala sui poey? Or some new kinky lingerie outlet?

Mon Calamari Knights
I pretty sure these are the same guys selling Sotong Bakar along Gurney Drive every Saturday evening.

Sith Probe Droid
I don’t even wanna know. Musta been created by the same ppl who came up with Japanese Hentai Tentacle Monsters... eeeeeee...

Doda Bodonawieedo
I’m not making this up!!! There really is such a Star Wars character! Guess someone came up with the name after being inspired by the random moans Lucas shouted out while he was busy having hot steamy animal sex with C3PO... oh C3PO... oh you manly droid you... ugh...ahhh... noh... do... dOOoDaaA BoooodOnaaWiEEEdOOoooooo! !!

For more nonsensical names, click here. I will not be responsible for any inflicted head trauma...

Anyways... I won't be watching Episode III; at least not until the 5 bucks a pop chap ayam DVD version shows up in the market...

Dang… my head hurts at the moment. Had barely 4 hours of sleep. Went for a mamak+DOTA session last night with the gang at Boot Sector Cybercafe. Everyone turned up this time; Archilles, Gaylord, DaddyCat, Pimp, FF, Kokidi, Batu and Stiff-Butt. One thing led to another, I ended up leaving the place at 4.15am. Lights finally went out at 5. But it was mucho fun.

And since everyone has been churning out strategy guides for their favorite hero like rabbits, I’m itching to write one as well. Who am I? Call me the Lich King. The Frost King of Death … woooooooo. A kinda overpowered Scourge hero… but ended up very bapuk in my hands. My DOTA skills are newbie at best. But that’s not the point; I still adore muka tengkorak air batu campur very much…

When u first start off, Lich is very much like a 660cc Daihatsu Mira. Underpowered, with low HP and mana; try thinking of a namby pamby 1^st year UNIMAS student. That’s why u need to start off by buying the Null Talisman, to get some real increase in attributes. Not like some moron sticking bigass APEXi or 5Zigen stickers on his stock standard Hyundai Accent and claiming it gives extra 50 kuasa kuda... blek x5000. You also need a pair of Boots of Speed. Lich isn’t a very slow character, but like changing from your chap ayam rim besi buruk to a set of Work Emotion CR alloys; you’re bound to see some pickup in speed.

The first item to upgrade is your Frost Nova . Your opponents will be stunned like some ccb being tiong-ed by a nitrous purge kit, so you can hantam them kaw kaw during that 2 second window or so. Alternate leveling up with Dark Ritual . This skill will be your best friend since you don’t need to buy any mana regen. Think of it as forever asking your buddy “Eh macha… minyak kering oreidi… eh… pinjam sepuluh ringgit fill petrol?” and never paying him back. We love you macha… ^_^

From then on the gameplay can swing 2 ways.

If it’s a long game, your best bet is to work towards getting the Aghanim Scepter. This is akin to throwing out the asthmatic 4G13 engine from your bronze Proton Wira and plonking in a firebreathing Garrett turbo-charged 4G63 block from an Evo8. This tongkat will make your ultimate Chain Frost  take out creeps faster than the bus kilang to Bayan Lepas. If the game still drags on… throw in a Hyperstone… makes Lich shoot jus ampala sui-poey super cepat like SARD 1000CC injectors.

If you know it’s gonna be a short game, and the enemy heroes are pushing like some baka peroxide blonde-hair Ah Beng tailgating you, here’s what to do. No time to buy all those expensive stuff. Juz get Lich another 50 Cent style bling bling Null gold chain. Cheap like Rolex in Petaling Street. Then go for Dagon. It’s not as great as the Aghanim's mojo enhancer, but will still help significantly. Sorta like getting products from kedai aksesori Abang (Brothers lar) instead of bona fide shops like Speedworks in Jalan Perak. Also, keep bugging your macha to pinjam you sepuluh ringgit for mana so you can Spam Nova. Again… no need to pay him back wan… he’s a veli good macha. Don’t look back as speed counts.

That’s basically my waramashit guide for Uncle Muka Tengkorak Ice Ice Baby.

Going back to sleep now. Jia-neh ^_^

Glossary :

kuasa kuda : horse power, chap ayam : knock-offs, hantam : whack, kaw kaw : until satisfied, minyak kering : no more gas, pinjam : borrow, jus ampala sui poey : exotic sourish ampala fruit drink

You might be wondering why I placed the 4 really weird nonsensical names so prominently on the right sidebar of my blog. Well, these are the individuals which I've come to know, shared thoughts with and eventually became some of my best buddies. I'm trying now, to recall how we ended bunching up together.

Archilles was an old college fren. We studied in the same class and somehow wound up working at the same place. This guy is a bundle of energy and you'll find him excited over the smallest of things. In the past one decade I've known him, I've yet to see him frown; definitely one who you can count on to light up a gloomy atmosphere. A bona fide fitness freak who doesn't have an inch of fat on his body.

I met Gaylord bout 2 years ago during one of my low key gym sessions. He introduced himself, we started chatting and the rest was history. Social superfly. Makes frens like drinking water; blessed with the gift of gab. A complex individual; there's 2 sides of him. Aside from the superfly mode, there's another more demure and sullen side of Gaylord which hardly appears unless you get to know him better. But when this side& nbsp;does appear, you can count on having some very personal and intelligent conversations with him.

I didn't get to know Daddycat till bout my second working year. When I first met him, I saw a very unorthodox individual. With his shoulder length hair and anything goes attitude, I thought he'd fit the bill of artist or travelling hippie more than an engineer. But as time went by, I eventually saw a coding genius and a man who knew exactly what he wanted out of life. Also the first among the 5 of us to be hitched and the doting father of a really adorable baby boy.

Pimp. Hmm... this is an interesting guy to talk about. Fresh out of uni, he joined the company exactly 4 years after I did. The youngest among us. Barrel chested fella who wouldn't look out of place in the WWE ring yet ironically blessed with the baby-face looks of a primary one student. Quite similar to Archilles; in the sense that he's always the bright bulb of a party with his infectious... but sometimes waramashit laughter. Friendly to a fault, speaks with his mind, in addition to being a very sporting chap.

We were drawn  together by a common passion; the guitar.

Among the 5, I was the least colourful of the lot. Let's say if each of us was a flavour in a Baskin Robbins outlet, I would be singled out as the plain vanilla. In a sense, I should very well worry bout being in the company of these 4 very talented individuals; due to my mediocrity. But instead, I found myself enjoying their company immensely and I'm hoping I'll be part of the gang for many more years to come.

So why am I writing all this?

Because today, I caught glimpses of cracks within the fragile wall of friendship as a number of us took cheap pot shots at each other over what started off as a really petty issue. Though things eventually simmered down, I sorta thought something juz didn't feel right. Silly as it may sound, I hope none of us holds a grudge against the other coz I really value this bond of friendship which we have forged over time. Guys... u're some of the more colourful ppl I've met in my underachieving life (but not in a gay manner k?).

Basically I've said my fill. You guys can bash my blog to Timbuktu if you wish after this...

Blek... t(-_-t)

I've been doing a lot of lunch and supper mamak sessions of late. Mamak stalls are basically eateries run by Indian Muslims who specializes in curries and flat breads. You can find them practically in every corner around the country; especially convenient for perpetually hungry ppl like yours truly.

Anyways, when patronizing one of these outlets, you need to keep one thing in mind. Cleanliness isn't exactly high on the priority list. This ain't the Ritz. Sure, there're stains here and there on the table, the cutleries mysteriously oily, a stray cat might brush against your leg every once in a while, but I can live with that. The food is good, so I can’t complain much. Fattening as hell too.

But what I saw last weekend made me think twice before wanting to drop in again. As I parked my car in the back alley of a mamak stall near Sungai Dua, I took the back entrance of the eatery instead of the usual front. There, by the side of the drain, I saw a silhouette huddle up rasping something diligently. As I got closer, the nearby lamp enabled me have a glimpse of what the person was doing. I saw this mamak employee sharpening kitchen knifes using the concrete sidewall of the drain.

I’m dumbfucked...

I raised an eyebrow when I received an email from HR informing me of yet another workshop, which has been, scheduled for 26 others and me. Hmm... company must be doing pretty well with all this sudden abundance of off-location trainings. Anyhow, I'm not complaining since this is another opportunity for me to continue my 'chiak chua' streak.

The 2-day workshop centered on "Creativity and Innovation". WTF?! Are the powers that be trying to send me a subtle message bout something? Bleh... whatever. But I was pleased to learn that it will be held at a relatively upscale hotel downtown instead of some foul smelling laboratory located somewhere in Timbuktu. The facilitator for this workshop was a really upbeat individual (kudos to him), but unfortunately, I still found myself dozing off every once in a while.

Pimp and I car-pooled to the place (yeah... we're cheap bastards... so sue us). He was appointed "Break Master". WTF??? What's that you might ask? Basically, the bugger’s endowed with the power to call for breaks anytime he wishes. Cool or what? Too bad his balls only grew big enuf to abuse it on the following day… blek. His balls continued growing exponentially after that… humanity was lucky since it was only a 2-day session.

Anyways, long story short, I was pleasantly surprised. The workshop benefited me significantly and it really opened up my eyes (sorry... no pics this time...sigh). I would like to share with the rest of you the things I learnt during the past 2-days. :

1. 
   
   The food was really good. I gained a healthy 2kgs by Friday evening.


2. 
   
   The comb-binding for the notes really suck. I can’t open the damn thing properly.


3. 
   
   I can do the Kilometrico “Flexgrip” twirl with my pencil for up to 3 minutes before it fell off. WOOHOOOO… NEW RECORD!!!


4. 
   
   PMI, SWOT, the 4-Ds, EQ, SCAMPER. Conclusion… you can make shitloads of money by coming up with lame motivational acronyms and selling it to gullible morons like yours truly.


5. 
   
   The hotel staff cleans the toilet every half and hour… very clean… wahhhhh.


6. 
   
   I found my coffee drinking limit was 5 cups a day. Ended up with gastric during the 1^st session.


7. 
   
   My colleagues and I are really kiasu ppl. We were practically at each others’ throat as early as the first practical activity. In the facilitator’s own words, “I asked you guys to come up with a good customer proposal, you guys try kill each other instead… baka …”.


8. 
   
   Going back at 5pm was really pleasant. No traffic jam. And I get to watch the 6pm cheesy Hong Kong drama series.

What’s the difference between creativity and innovation? Um… ugh… I wasn’t really paying attention. Sorry… maybe Awang Mahadi can explain better... ehehehe… blek ^_^

Days seem so much longer since you left me. I'm now alone, a shell of a man.. staring blankly into the horizon. There's so much to remember, to cherish, to hold on to. You left me with an abundance of wonderful memories, but no one to share with. I miss the way you nuzzle up to me, as I caress you with the palms of my hand. You eyes sparkle like precious stones, your skin glistening as the rays of sunshine dances across the silhouette of your perfect body. Your attention to detail never fail to amaze me. You fill my life with color, capturing every minute facet of the things we do together. The smiles, the laughter, the joy, the pain, the triumphs.

All that remain are the memories of a better time.

I will miss you dearly...

...my dearest Casio QV-R40 digicam...

Kena air sikit aje... terus mampus. Apa-ler... Blek x1000  :-P